Too Much Water In Milk - Indian Cows Must Moo!

So while many people back in India wouldn’t be incredibly surprised by this headline, anyone in – say New York or London, or Jerusalem, ought to be.

Earlier today the Indian police authorities busted a major milk unit in Lucknow, the capital of the largest Indian state i.e. Uttar Pradesh. While popular locally for its “wild west” atmosphere, the state reals under pillar of elephantine corruption, lawlessness and general lust for degraded power.

The local police in Lucknow, suspecting the dairy unit of distribution of unadulterated stocks of everybody’s favorite white stuff (perversion is unwelcome, but appreciated), the seized bucket load of milk and send it for forensic analysis.

And since forensic analysis of milk isn’t really something of an art form, the results returned a great big “inconclusive” stamped across the bucket with the police lamenting over the authenticity of the milk. One can only hope that it was in fact milk of the famed cattle origin.

Some big gun, with what we’re inclined to bet on is a pot belly, claimed that, “milk distribution is a sensitive matter. In the recent past, we have received several complaints of such units selling and distributing spurious and synthetic milk. We have conducted this raid as part of our total clampdown on these illicit businesses.” Oooo, scary!

While of course claims of how totally important it is to have white milk that is in fact more milk and less water, one can’t help but blame the cows. One may tend to wonder why, but don’t be fooled by those adorable, dung-ful faces seemingly created by the almighty to encourage empathy – they’re evil. Pure, unadulterated, moronic evil. Word!

Why Should We Blame The Cows?

How about-

These purportedly not-dumb lazy beasts haven’t figured out a better delivery system yet! It’s been far too long that man must milk them. We do have better things to do you know!
They don’t come in sizes or color variations, and thus warrant no love, affection or rant from us. Apathy is the way to go, fellow homosapien.
How many houses to you know of that can house a cow? Hell, even a calf! Pointless.

More Stuff More You: